catapult magazine

catapult magazine

Vol 9, Num 8 :: 2010.04.16 — 2010.04.29


Planning and scanning with the idea of home

I can still remember a few ratty, old hand towels that were hanging up at my grandparent’s house.  They were ivory with orange and brown faded flowers.  There was nearly a hole in one of them.  My grandmother somehow refused to give them up.  Later, my mother explained to me that these were my Oma‘s towels that she and my Opa had received as a wedding gift.  I couldn’t believe it.  The very idea of this was and is incredibly romantic — that is, keeping an item that you received together at the beginning of your journey of marriage.  I should mention, they’re also somewhat unaware of the changes in home decorating and styles of the times. 

I am in the final processes of planning my own wedding.  Yes, it is a “wedding Saturday within the month of June.”  So, of course I have thoughts on this subject.  The conclusion I’ve come to is this: Weddings are a massive conglomeration of gestures.  When one makes the guest list, when one asks friends (or relatives) to be a part of the bridal party, and especially when one (or two, I hope) are planning the ceremony: who will read the scripture passage?  Who will usher?  Who will lift the veil?  Who will play the special song?  Who will light the candles? 

Along with all of these questions come: should we register?  Are we being greedy with the things we’ve asked for?  Do we need more than what we already have?  My fiancé and I have registered at three different places, with different purposes in mind.  We looked at the idea of having donations sent to our favorite charity, or thought about having an alternative fund gift-givers could pool into so we could have a cool honeymoon.  However, it comes down to the fact that we are very young and have thus far survived on hand-me-down frying pans, griddles that cook unevenly, thrift-store heart-shaped waffle makers that leak (cooking) oil, and IKEA glasses that seem to break at alarming rates.

We’re giddy with excitement to start a home together.  It isn’t the new appliances, new flatware, new bedding and new bone china that are going to make it so, but it is the idea that surrounds all of these things.  Let’s consider the alternatives: money.  There are other alternatives, but none that stand out so clearly as this.  In fact, I think many newlyweds do not mind receiving money instead of gifts from their wedding guests — they can spend it how they need to.  However, I cannot escape the idea that maybe, just maybe, that money would get lost somewhere in between Capital One, rent checks and Costco-sized grocery bills.  This money is meant to furnish — not only with decorations, but with…things you can continue to enjoy, such as a new cookie baking sheet that won’t blacken one’s almost-perfect chocolate chip cookies.  But with no designation other than legal tender, it does not have to pay for a new set of bathroom towels.  It can be used to pay for toilet paper instead.

And I hope to someday have a few ratty old towels left to show my grandchildren.  

your comments

comments powered by Disqus