I used to agree with Adam when it came to funerals. I remember when a friend from highschool died. She was so unique, vibrant, and alive… and I felt that the funeral lacked any reminder of her personality. It made me angry.
Then I lost the most important person in my world. And I didn’t want to think about a funeral. I didn’t want to hear the word ‘funeral’, I didn’t want to attend a funeral. I did not want to believe he was gone. And when your whole head is spinning and you can’t even think about the next minute, let alone the next day, you can’t plan a party and you don’t want to. Death is an awful terrible separation. Yes, as Christians we believe in the hope of seeing that person again, but in the meantime death is a taste of hell—and it is so fresh in those moments surrounding a funeral.
So you do what you can. You try to dress them in clothes that had significance to them. You bring pictures, you write a note on the casket, you hear songs that remind you of them. All of these things are done with tremendous heartache by a family that wishes that none of them had to be done.
So I think it is good for friends to gather outside the funeral, and for memorial services to be held at schools (as James’ will be in September). But I believe that often pain is too fresh for the family (at least when it is unexpected or a young life) for the funeral to be anything more than it is—awful and unreal. But that’s just my experience and opinion
Lo G
Aug 18 2003
11:46 am
I used to agree with Adam when it came to funerals. I remember when a friend from highschool died. She was so unique, vibrant, and alive… and I felt that the funeral lacked any reminder of her personality. It made me angry.
Then I lost the most important person in my world. And I didn’t want to think about a funeral. I didn’t want to hear the word ‘funeral’, I didn’t want to attend a funeral. I did not want to believe he was gone. And when your whole head is spinning and you can’t even think about the next minute, let alone the next day, you can’t plan a party and you don’t want to. Death is an awful terrible separation. Yes, as Christians we believe in the hope of seeing that person again, but in the meantime death is a taste of hell—and it is so fresh in those moments surrounding a funeral.
So you do what you can. You try to dress them in clothes that had significance to them. You bring pictures, you write a note on the casket, you hear songs that remind you of them. All of these things are done with tremendous heartache by a family that wishes that none of them had to be done.
So I think it is good for friends to gather outside the funeral, and for memorial services to be held at schools (as James’ will be in September). But I believe that often pain is too fresh for the family (at least when it is unexpected or a young life) for the funeral to be anything more than it is—awful and unreal. But that’s just my experience and opinion