catapult magazine

The frightening thing is not dying,
The frightening thing is not living.

-TBone Burnett – Criminal Under My Own Hat

Jabird, do you really think that sorrow is better than laughter?

To answer you, it would be best to understand what you are deriving from the quote. What is on your mind?
My thought is not that one or the other should be an overall mood in life. It just so happens that in the somber moments in life we often see life for what it really is whereas in the light hearted moments we see only the short term and the immediate. Both are required for balance, but long term focus and reality more substantially feed the heart…
I love a good laugh. I love life in general and am thankful for what I have and where I am…and I would never see how good I have it if not for the times that I have experienced a sadness of some degree.

Does that make sense?

I also would like to add that it is during the down times that we often discover a need for change that would make things better for ourselves in the long run. Something easily evaded when things look happy and distract us from the truth of our own personal need.

I’m not sure I agree with you 100%. Personally anyway, I have never been happier than in the last year of my life and I have never learned more about myself and the world around me. I’m not sure which one is more basic and I’m not sure I need to or want to know. They have been working well together and that’s good enough for me.
On the other hand. There’s nothing like a little bleeding of the emotions from time to time. Sitting down and having a good cry in the middle of a very happy existence has its place. But as for me, sadness is more of a bizarro world comic relief (ala the Greeks). Life is great with a bit of sorrow thrown in for good measure so that the happiness is even greater afterward.
I like the attitude you have though Jabird. Not as a doomsdayer but viewing sorrow as an importunity for growth and self reflection. At least I think that’s what I’m hearing.

Well Norbert, those who know me can vouch for the fact that I am probably the furthest thing from a doomsdayer…for the most part I am a fairly positive person in all aspects of life. But, as most of us, I do know hardship, and I do know suffering. I do know loss and I do know pain. In those inevitable times of life you can choose one of three paths:
1. self pity – usually accompanied by some sort of self inflicted depression (I am not speaking of clinical depression…that’s different altogether…I am speaking of a choice one makes)
2. denial – usually results in the some sort of self justification which inevitably turns into a cycle of constant suffering.
3. self change – this requires an enormous sacrifice of self pride and a recognition of ones own hand in the creation of the distress. It may not be entirely your fault, but what could you have done differently to have had a more universally positive outcome? What is to be learned from this particular valley or desert of life? What reprecussions are actually a part of the accountability for my own actions? If this is a sadness derived from someone elses poor decisions, how can I learn from him/her and their mistakes? etc.

(This is not something that can be spread completely across the board of life and living. You cannot hold the starving impoverished Nigerian (i.e.) to this and tell them they have to change themselves when they are a victim of their countries circumstances…)

It is an actuality we face, however, when struggling with valleys of our own invention (speakin as a race of people as well as individually)..however directly or indirectly we may personally be involved.

More power to ya, Bird. We live in a world that is addicted to laughter. I love to laugh too, but in feeding our laughter addiciton, we seem terrrified of feeling genuinely sad. The fact is, we have a lot to be sad about.

I went to see the new Michael Moore film “Bowling for Columbine” I have never laughed so hard and been so full of sorrow at the same time in my life. I think I’d like to have more experiences like that from time to time because it seemed like an experience filled with truth. It seems to me that a lot of the laughing we do in North American in the 21st century is a laughter of denial.