Vol 9, Num 19 :: 2010.10.22 — 2010.11.04
I wake up it’s morning
9somethingam
And I open my window, it’s the warmest (or so they say it will be) day
We’ve had so far this year
And I lie back falling onto the three blankets that covered me in the night before the warmest day
It’s Easter weekend
And I listen to the birds
And I
I think about what I’ve done.
My youngest brother turns 9 today
And Jesus died yesterday, he’ll resurrect tomorrow
But if I get up to face this I’ll have to tell my little brother —
“Little brother, today you turn 9.
It’s your birthday, today you’ll turn 9 and I have to tell you that life is not going to be easy, but it’s going to be beautiful.”
The thing about my little brother is that he’s
Carefree
He loves with abandon
He’ll take advantage of every opportunity that comes his way and as life goes on most of them will crash and burn
And so I know his life is going to be
More beautiful than most.
So I’m lying in my bed
Listening to the birds
And in a moment of clarity (or insanity)
I realize that I really believe in the death and resurrection
And I can’t not because I want it for myself, and for my little brother
Who won’t always be satisfied with legos, gigapets, webkins and whatever society has produced to preoccupy the children while the parents work for more money
For more preoccupation
Occupations
I realize — as my little brother bursts into the room and hurls himself onto my floppy morning body — as he kisses me and tells me he loves me —
That he isn’t going to have an easy life
He may break a few limbs, love a few times, chase a few dreams that will break and live through the consequences of risking to breathe beyond the limitations that have been constructed for him to follow
They tell him:
Little boy,
When you’re a man you must work a 9-5 job
Get paid a good amount of money
Marry and produce for the economy
Teach your children about working hard and providing a comfortable North American life.
I realize
As my little brother detaches himself and runs from my room
That he may fail a few classes in high school because he’s always fooling around
I realize that he may get into a post secondary education institute to study something he thought might be interesting
But that he may drop out because he’s bored of the stringent curriculum and grades
As I listen to the birds I see my clarity as a blessing that empowers me to live and show my little brother to live like death and resurrection happen every 1-3 days
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