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Cynicism vs. gifts of grace

by Matthew McGuire

When I noticed the announcement for this upcoming topic of gift-giving on catapult's writer's block page, something immediately caught my attention, and I knew that I wanted to write this article on it. This probably wouldn't have been on my mind a year ago, but at the moment, I can't think of a better topic to write on.

Let me explain. It seems that every year, I become more cynical as Christmas and the holiday season approach. I see the countless ads on the TV and Internet, telling me all the things I need if I am to be a complete, whole person. I see people rush to the stores in mobs, apparently listening to everything the ads tell them (and congesting the roads and the stores, making even simple errand-running a major task). I see meaningless, ridiculous, gaudy, and extravagant holiday decorations put up earlier and earlier, sometimes even immediately after Halloween, making Christmas (the "commercial holiday" as I sometimes think of it) eclipse the poor, overlooked, underrated, underdog holiday, Thanksgiving.

In my mind, Thanksgiving is a "pure holiday". Christmas has been polluted and bloated to the point that it is frequently referred to on the news in terms of sales figures and the GNP. But to me, Thanksgiving has no negative connotations of commercialization. The worst thing I can think of about Thanksgiving is how people give thanks to no one in particular, saying that we should just "be thankful" instead of thanking God. Well, that and the gluttony, perhaps, although it seems that even massive amounts of food can be healthy every once and a while. After all, times of great feasting and remembrance were God's idea, dating way back to the Exodus. Of course, some people would also object to Thanksgiving's annual turkey massacre, but I won't get into that.

So in my attitude toward Christmas, I have become in some ways the Grinch, wishing to himself that all the stupid Whos in Whoville could just quiet down and be a little more normal. But perhaps this year I will be slightly less cynical. Why? In a word, grace.

Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain...

 

She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma...

She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stains

Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace finds goodness
In everything

These are some of the lyrics to the song "Grace" by U2. When I first heard the song, I thought, "nice song, but a bit bland". But now, looking back at it, it's exactly what's been on my mind. There's another song that's been on my mind, too, that will perhaps help clarify my thoughts. It's "Karma Police" by Radiohead.

Karma police
I've given all I can,
it's not enough,
I've given all I can
but we're still on the payroll.

I like the line in "Grace" about how grace "travels outside of karma." Why? Because karma means getting exactly what you deserve. Now, when I feel that someone has wronged me, I certainly say that I want what I deserve. But to be honest, when I look at my life with a wide lens, I don't think I want that want that at all.

 

Why not? Because I'm someone who has messed up. I've been selfish. I've broken my word. I've done things that I know I shouldn't have, and I haven't done everything I know I should have. If I really got what I deserve, I'd be a bit like the speaker in the song "Karma Police", lamenting that all the good I've tried to do and all I've tried to give still wasn't enough to outweigh the crummy things I've done and the haunting feeling that my payday is coming. Karma will come smashing down on me, and if reincarnation were true, I'd come back as a "pig in a cage on antibiotics," to quote another Radiohead song.

So when it comes down to it, I don't want karma. I don't want justice. I want something better, something kinder, something far more generous, something more extravagant than the most gaudy-looking Christmas decoration.

I want grace.

Undeserved favor, undeserved merit. I want someone to look at my life through that same wide lens and say, "Heck, you've really messed up from time to time, but I love you anyway," and give me a sincere, non-condescending kiss.

I want a gift.

This year, as I've reflected a bit on grace, I realize that grace is a gift, and all I've been given is a gift of grace. Do I deserve to be born to a middle-class family in America, the land of opportunity, with all the resources and intellect and health that I have? Did I choose it? Did I work for it? No. It was something I can't ever say I deserve, because I did nothing to deserve it. It was a gift.

Not everyone has such blessings. However, does the fact that I can't give such gifts to everyone make the fact that I've been given it evil? I don't think so. And truly, even those who are born into a far different life in a developing nation have other gifts I don't have. Theirs is sometimes a simpler life, blessed with a rich community and close-knit family life that many of us in America, with our focus on individualism, could probably envy at times. We are all blessed with gifts, though not all in the same way.

After all, Jesus said that the Father "causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Common Grace is the official term for this kind of gift. It's the idea that all of us, regardless of race, religion, age, and sex have been given something we don't deserve. And so we should be thankful for our gifts. We should be grateful to the One who gave them.

And so we come full-circle, back to my underdog holiday, Thanksgiving. We've probably all heard someone say that we should be thankful the year 'round, not just once a year. It's clich?, but it's truth.

So what does this have to do with Christmas? Well, Christmas is the time that we celebrate the greatest gift of God's grace, the coming of the Son of God, the Messiah, the Redeemer, the Savior, Jesus Christ. It was an expensive gift. Anyone that's seen Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion of the Christ" has at least some idea of what it cost. Jesus took that wide-view lens of my life and the karmic payday that comes with it upon his back in the form of bloody gashes, driven into his head and hands and feet and side in the form of cruel thorns, Roman nails, and a spear point.

So perhaps Thanksgiving and Christmas aren't too different after all. And what about that seemingly shallow justification for commercialization--something usually mumbled about how the Wise Men gave a late birthday present of some gold and spices to Jesus two years after he was born? Maybe it's not really even necessary. After all, if we'd truly realize all that we've been given, why wouldn't we want to give to others out of sheer gratitude to God and a desire to see that same joy on another person's face?

Maybe what we really need is to get rid of the attitude that we deserve everything we enjoy, that we're self-made men and women that have evolved by our own sweat to the point that we're superior to certain other people, whoever they may be. Perhaps we need to realize we've all been given so much good by a gracious, gift-giving God. And maybe we can give our own gifts of grace, now realizing that it is no trivial matter of business, sales figures, and the GNP, but rather a part of who we are, reflecting the very image of God the gift-giver.

As Christmas approaches this year, I'll be reminding myself of all I've learned and trying to break, or at least bend, some of my old habits. I'm sure at some point I might still mutter a "bah, humbug" or two under my breath, but I hope I'll catch myself in the middle of it, stop, and say a "thank you" instead. And as I give my gifts, I can try to remember the many gifts of grace I've also been given by God.