Vol 12, Num 20 :: 2013.11.01 — 2013.11.14
1.
The water droplet I have my eye on
loses itself in the stream
like everything that once burdened me.
Even that which distinguished me before -
my spirit, sense of humor, blood type, all the years of life and work -
rose and changed
like the body I have now (you would still recognize me
but I don’t look at all like I did).
And the biggest, most peculiar change
is that, since the completion,
I am unafraid of change.
In the before time, it was hard to even contemplate
let alone trust
that tomorrow would be there
that it could be different and still be okay
and we consoled each other when changes came.
It was hard to see any virtue in anything that was uncertain.
I remember how we preferred
smooth and changeless calm on the lake
to the chaos of the storms that swept in from the west.
I remember how open windows made me nervous.
You asked in your letter (at least I think that’s what that was)
what I think of my life before and
what the best part of my new life is.
I chuckled a bit when I read that. Those
are phrases from before. They don’t mean much here.
Is there anything I could tell you that would make sense?
Is there any way to help you see reassurance?
Is there any way you can taste the end of diminishing each other and what that would mean?
What I called love, virtue, grace, before
in the moments when they seemed so real
now are so remote,
and the one or two or three languages you speak
just will not do for us now.
2.
It’s like this:
It’s like going home.
Everything is in proportion here,
it fits,
it seems to be in exactly the right place.
From the very first moment
you realize that all nothingness, all absence, is gone —
even the zeros,
which believe me,
makes math a whole lot more interesting.
The tree trunks are strong,
the roots run deep,
and there are no dead branches.
Everything here derives from and connects to
Him.
Of course, it did before, too,
but here,
you can see it.
3.
Certainty is possible here,
and there is enough time to fully comprehend something -
everything eventually -
the glory of a spider’s eye
the source and path of the wind
the movement and pressure of sunlight,
every angle of the shape of a single grain of sand.
With these bodies we can see everything
outside ourselves
inside ourselves
and watch as everything flows into and out of
God
like the cosmos is breathing.
We investigate everything because everything matters
and because it is fun.
We learn (even here)
and in learning, we are sure of things —
the tiniest subatomic particle
to the greatest galactic super-cluster
and all beginnings
and all ends
and there is always light to see by.
4.
There are no lost souls.
There is no loss.
There is no lost either.
There is wandering, though, and finding.
Things like church and state exist here
But they are so unlike what they were
You would not know them.
The spirit is in all places
and we talk to Her.
You would love this part, though:
the world is transparent when you need it to be.
This morning
I watched water droplets become rain
and seep into the ground
and run into rivulets
and then join with a great underground river
and followed them to one of the seas under the earth.
Today at noon, I will look up at the sun,
the corona, the solar flares,
and then I will look down
to see midnight on the other side of the world.
This afternoon I might look at the layers of rock
under the hills.
(Actually, this is what I do every Tuesday).
Tomorrow I could watch yesterday
and the soon that will follow it
or look back a hundred years
then dream of the eons that will follow.
Well, of course we still have sleep and rest
but you can lie down anywhere
(I prefer to be under shade trees or by the lakes when I sleep).
Home is everywhere,
No halls though, only open rooms.
Oh, and everyone has a porch light.
5.
Imagine playing Lego with molecules
or painting with the mist of a nebula.
Everyone writes songs
and poems
and builds worlds in books and plays,
The library is as vast as you might think.
We don’t keep watch here,
but we do watch things.
We don’t waste time here,
but we don’t have to spend it either.
6.
Sure, I’ll tell you
(or try to anyway.)
Crossing over was like
watching God run a control board for the lights
as the show begins.
He slides down the channels
for all condemnation
and pain.
He pushes up
all hearing
holding
change.
He brings down
all scarcity
rot
brokenness.
He brings up
growing up strong
renewal
getting older but not falling apart
and good good rest.
He brings down
the last churchyard grave
and all cancer cells change to healing cells.
He brings up
laughter
useful work
hope
and all tomorrows.
He fades out
death
low water marks
and high water marks.
Then, his fingers moving like a weaver.
He cranks up
all places
meals with friends
enlarged ideas
love, refining, revising
vision, memory, home
solid goodness, endless growth,
and hope gets so big it explodes like flowers
and is no longer hope at all
but something else.
He turns the dials all the way up on
smallness, gentleness
hills, fog, sun, shade
joy, degrees of difference, seas, crispness
blues, greens, wind, waves
song, affection, imagination, spirit, shaping
creation, action, trees, discovery, findings
windings, ways,
anything, everything,
until finally
all freedom is ablaze and aloft.
And then you are home.
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