Vol 5, Num 13 :: 2006.06.30 — 2006.07.14
Pray you, undo this button. Thank you, sir.
Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,
Look there, look there!
- King Lear, Act V, scene III
Pulling into the gravel farmyard in the middle of the day,
I expected to see him, descending from a tractor,
or working in the shed, hands covered in grease,
pieces of machinery scattered around
preparing equipment for the coming spring.
It was unsettling to find him in the house
and the realization hit me,
there may be no spring.
Pray you, undo this button…
I had been nervous about coming.
What does one say to the dying?
“I hope it’s not too uncomfortable,” I said.
My friend paused, “Why should it be?”
The thought had not occurred to him.
So we drove out to the farm
where cancer had come to stay.
I remembered the time he told me:
“When I bought that first corn-picker,
I thought I was going to conquer the world.”
Dreaming of kingdoms of good soil.
A red castle from which to rule,
his name in white letters on the side.
Seasons passing, the children growing,
a steel castle to replace the old wooden one,
new machines to work more acres
and always, always, the loans.
Pray you, undo this button…
We found him thinned considerably, moving slowly,
painfully, the arms which had built his kingdom
unable now to lift a bag of seed corn.
But the same sideways grin was there,
unaffected by the turmoil in his abdomen,
As he asked about our lives,
our jobs, our marriages,
And the kingdoms we hoped to build.
I’m not sure what I expected him to say,
words of wisdom perhaps? A summing up?
Maybe a little railing against the storm?
I don’t know why I was hoping for something profound.
But I heard it,
in the same things I had always heard
about moisture, and soil, and corn,
and the simple desire to breathe a little longer
in the company of those who love him.
Pray you, undo this button…
We finished our coffee and the time came
for us to return to our busy lives.
I paused in the doorway and shook his hand,
overwhelmed by the dignity, humility and faith
of this King, approaching the end of his fifth act,
praying for a miracle of healing,
and thinking of what he needs to tell his boys
before the spring planting begins.
Pray you, undo this button…
- for Otto
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