catapult magazine

catapult magazine

Vol 2, Num 4 :: 2003.02.14 — 2003.02.27


Single, but not alone

When I was just a boy, I would tell anyone who would listen how many children I was going to have. Typically, I told people that I was going to be the father of at least ten kids.

But time has a knack of slipping into the past and some dreams become as translucent as air. Even more so, the logistics of producing those babies might prove difficult without a wife to bear them. And I’m already past the normal age that the experts find ideal for maximum fertility and for baby-rearing energy. Regardless, it’s interesting to imagine what things would be like had I chosen to pursue producing children earlier on in my life.

So, as you might have already guessed, I’m a single man with a family mind. Aside from what the mainstream ideal might be, I like my singleness and personal solitude. There are times when a companion would be of great help to get the dishes done faster, clean the toilet more often, or even to have someone to give me a second opinion, but I’m not inhibited from doing what I want or getting what I need. I chose not to be in a union and enjoy my inpiduality, as do my other single friends.

In spite of the devastating 50 percent porce rate, society has a tendency to look negatively upon those of us who have rejected the pressure to marry. I have found that as I get older, the pressure to marry lessens. Family, friends and acquaintances don’t really say much outside of the occasional, “Are you seeing anyone?” It seems however, that my women friends weather derogatory comments more often than I have had to. They complain about being asked frequently why they haven’t yet met a man, married and had kids, as if doing so is the only way to be a whole person. They tell me that, as they aged beyond their 20s, mean-spirited rumors became more common. “Lesbian” has always been a favorite word whispered behind their backs. And single men certainly don’t escape the occasional, “Isn’t he gay?”

Another mistaken notion is that single people are just lonely souls who possess no semblance of a life. The perception is that we pass the time hanging out in donut shops or entertaining ourselves with our pets. I’ll admit that I enjoy my dog’s company as well as eating donuts late at night, but that certainly doesn’t mean I don’t have a life. Au contraire! I have plenty of friends and family members who are delighted to be associated with me and include me in their social activities. And I approach the future with the idea that I will maintain a vigilant effort to be a productive member of society regardless of my marital status.

your comments

comments powered by Disqus