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Reqiuem for a Broken God

by Brett Alan Dewing

1

enters and lights a fire in the middle of the space, singing

In the desert, a voice is calling

Prepare the way for Messiah’s coming,

A stone that makes men stumble

And a rock that makes them fall.

2

enters and pours red water into a hanging recepticle above the fire, singing

Let all mortal flesh keep silence

And with fear and trembling stand

Ponder nothing earthly-minded,

For with blessing in his hand

Christ the Lord to earth desecendeth

Our full homage to demand

kneels

3    

enters and pours red water into a hanging recepticle above the fire, singing

King of kings, yet born of Mary

When of old on earth he stood

King of kings in human vesture,

In the body and the blood

He will give to all the faithful

His own self for heavenly food

kneels

4    

enters and pours red water into a hanging recepticle above the fire, singing

Rank on rank the host of heaven

Spreads its vanguard on the way

As the light of light descendeth

From the realms of glorious day

That the power of Hell should vanish

As he clears the dark away

kneels

1

pours water likewise, singing

At his feet the six-winged seraph,

Cherubim with sleepless eye,

Veil their faces from the presence

As with ceasless voice they cry,

“Hallelujah, hallelujah,

Hallelujah, Lord most high!”

still standing, speaks

His birth is in the wind tonight

I can hear or see but almost feel

His cradling hay

I wonder at this fatalism

That he was born

In a wooden box

And I think that I am being passed over

By the rippling echoes

Of what happened that night

Still vibrant in this broad pond of time

The wind chimes

The metal hooks on the barren flagpole

Into an atonal host of heaven

Somehow

It says something of an

Incarnation

I had almost forgotten

Beneath the skin

I painted

On the wooden angel

His wings were hollow

For $1.30 at the craft store

They don’t fill them with the glory

That costs a son

Listening to this wind tonight

I can feel his wings

Buoyed over a middle eastern landscape

So different from what we’ve made it

And I wonder if I painted

The curving line of his mouth

The wrong direction

1    

singing

I remember you

I remember that

4

You were born in the darkness,

Uncomprehended,

Star-lit and stable

You were gracing.

1

I remember that you fled in darkness,

Taking with you only mother and son.

I remember that you left in darkness

The skies went black for you,

And you cried out.

3

I remember the tearing

How you were ripped untimely

from your father’s tomb

How the blood-filled curtain

spilled its tassles

And the name of God was forever changed

I remember the pain

2

I remember the lashing

Lashing out

Lashing down

The lashing of hide on skin

I remember the lashing

song: “Crucifixus” by Antonio Lotti   

1

Father, forgive them.

3

He shall wash His feet in the blood of the wicked.

2

He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to

wicked the third and fourth generation.

4

Yes, I hate them with a pure hatred.

1

Father, forgive them.

gong

3

What is it like, waiting ot die?

Not scratching days on some cell wall

And counting sloppy trays, with no sky

To mark as the days scratch back in all

Their pain, each cry and anguished call,

But free, under a pleasant sun,

At lunchtimes, on walks, while climbing trees,

Knowing that there is nothing you’ve done

But growing with a knowledge of an ending, sending pleas

To an intimate Someone from unskinned knees,

To greet each morning and bury each night

As a numbered day, to be shadowed by

The closing block of your mortal light?

What is it like, waiting to die,

When life is bright in your tearless eye?

Apparently, it is something like an eyeless hurricane --

All calm and all rage -- driving the world sane.

placing their hands on the water

1

This is my blood.

3

This is my blood.

2

This is my blood.

4

This is my blood?

1, 2, 3

begin a loud repetitive drone

4

sings, “Of the Father’s Love Begotten”, first verse, half-audible above the drone of the others

1

Today, you will be with me in Paradise.

3

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

4

Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

2

Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

1

Today, you will be with me in Paradise.

gong

song -- “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us”, 4-part harmony.  Each part gradually drops out, leaving a non-melody line by the end.

2

Unchanging God who changes me

I am stuck and distracted in man

blind my eyes

and bore my mind to silence

3

God in my Heart

I am too much in life

grab my shoulder

and smile with serious eyes

4

teach me to do faith and be peace

and always to be alive

and never forgive me too much

without a temperance of this pride

1    

singing

I remember you

I remember that your body was broken

I remember

3

I remember the pain

so present

so piercing

that I could remember it as it happened

unpreparable

unpreventable

pain

like tinfoil in a womb

quiksilver in a wound

I remember pain

beyond specifics

but never abstract

a case of mistaken fidelity

punished by pain that would not leave

I remember grinding

of teeth and joints

the bones straining

and wishing to break

I remember being denied

I remember the pain

my screaming skin

my bleeding lungs

my pain

I remember

4

the smell of the pieces

burnt when the house fell,

out back behind the new,

built of strong timbers

and spaces of freedom.

we, tired and smiling

in the dewing grass,

nails in beams

and what they hold,

and the wreath from the door

as the crown of the pyre.

piercing the side

of my marshmallow

and smelling blood and water

above the mint and smoke.

leaning in and

catching my hand

as they sing and I nod:

you are the flame

1

Behold your mother.  Behold your son.

3

Father will be divided against son and son against father.  Mother will be divided against daughter and daughter against mother.

2

He who loves father and mother more than me is not worthy of me.  He who loves son and daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

4

Take now your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.

1

Behold your mother.  Behold your son.

gong

song: Death of a Son by Michael Card

3

I stare into another day

The thing with feathers has flown away

That which springs eternal

Has dried

Faith and love may still remain

But not without this pain

Was this what you felt

When you died

Or was there a higher plan

In the end, were you more than a man

Or less than a god who has fallen

Below

Or am I blinded because I will not see

What you left for me

In the shadow of a broken tree

A prayer or two

Ago

1    

singing

I remember you

I remember that your body was broken

I remember that your blood was shed

I remember

2

I remember the lashing

2 and 4 alternate, 2 repeating this line, 4 speaking a number of the  names of those in the audience/congregation...

1

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

4

Behold I am with you always, even until the end of the age.

3

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

2

I have been young and now old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken.

1

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

song: The Silence of God by Andrew Peterson

2

Why can I not learn this twice

To keep my hand behind a glove

Bare, I cry these tears of ice

1

Suffer Alone, Suffer Alone

3

I gave myself too full in love

I cried your tears to break your vice

But man is dust and God above

1

I will to break the taunting drone

4

Sin again, a flood the price

I wanted you to be the dove

I drown beneath your own device

1

Suffer Alone, Suffer Alone

I will to break the taunting drone

song: O Sacred Head, 4-part

1

You once spoke me words and I listened to you

You once wrote in letters I could read with my hand

You once made me promises and showed they were true

You once told me I’d understand

You once wrote in letters I could read with my hand

You once had my heart and my soul and my mind

You once told me I’d understand

You once said you weren’t hard to find

You once had my heart and my soul and my mind

You once were clear and full of light

You once said you weren’t hard to find

You once made me think that I knew what was right

You once were clear and full of light

You once made me promises and showed they were true

You once made me think that I knew what was right

You once spoke me words and I listened to you   

1

I’m thirsty.

3

He who believes in Me shall never thirst.

4

And brought them water out of the rock for their thirst

2

But whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.

1

I am thirsty!

gong

3

is this my God,

bleeding there,

falling into human pieces?

Is this my saviour,

dying in agony

before anything has changed?

is this the one i trusted,

leaving me,

and taking a thief?

is this my king,

so defeated,

so frightened and lonely?

is this the master plan,

the destiny:

to die like any man?

is this my God?

1    

singing

I remember you

I remember that your body was broken

I remember that your blood was shed

I remember that you didn’t have to do it

2

what language shall I borrow

to thank you man of sorrows

who never said a mumbling word

erkamka na mene mene

crucifixus rex coelesti

alle heiden sabbac thani

eleison agnus dei

though I speak in the tongues

amen and angels

sing you to

the rest is silence

I place my hand over my mouth

song: Ride On to Die by Michael Card

1

It is finished.

3

We have heard from the law that the Christ remains forever.

4

And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.

2

Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment.

1

It is finished.

gong

2

I will not write a poem

I will not sing a theme song

I will not buy a flag

I will not use a slogan

I will not clap and cry

I will not make new gods

I will not feel safe

I will not stop weeping

1    

singing (from the Finale of Godspell)

Oh God, I’m bleeding

Oh God, I’m bleeding

4    

singing

Oh God, you’re bleeding

1    

singing

Oh God, I’m dying

2,3,4    

singing

Oh God, you’re dying

1

singing

Oh God, I’m dying

1

singing

Oh God, I’m dead

2,3,4    

singing

Oh God, you’re dead

Oh God, you’re dead

Oh God, you’re dead

1

Father, into Your hands, I commit my spirit.

Suddenly, the glass recepticle above the fire drops, shattering.  The water douses the fire.