catapult magazine

That was a flippant title. But I am having serious issues lately dealing with the senior citizens in my life. I struggle with aspects of respecting my elders while watching them take complete advantage of the fact they’re “seniors” and act as though we live in a culture where respect isn’t earned, but bestowed on a person because of their age. They’re crabby, negative, opinionated, emotionally abusive (to a degree), hypocritical and, overall, just pitiful. As they get older, they get worse. And I believe most of their problem is a fear of losing control, of declining in their capabilities and dying. I understand this is a normal fear. However, these are people who would stop talking to me if I dared suggest they lack some faith in this department.

Anyone else dealing with elder respect issues? Can anyone lend me some perspective on this issue? Right now, I’m really tired of that particular generation and their attitude of entitlement (yeah, yeah, I KNOW WWII was a big war … yes, I KNOW you lived through the Depression, yes, yes).

I think you’ve all made some wonderful observations about growing old – I particularly like Adam’s take on it. I guess, however, that my basic “issue” with the older people IN MY LIFE is their fear of dying and their morbid fascination with it – and the negative attitudes about life in general that stem from that. I realize that they are closer to dying (according to actuarial tables) than I am, but, if one is a Christian, we aren’t to fear death at any time. I’m very frustrated by their lack of faith in this department … but if I were to suggest to them that they take a more Christian approach to the end of their life, they would be insulted at my insinuation that they lack faith.

I do think that, as Christians, we have a responsibility to grow old gracefully and continue to reach out to the generations before us. Respect for what I DO know is not handed to me as a 20-something. In our grandparents’ day, respect was given to elders, period. I think Adam’s friend is right in that the babyboomers who grew up under this aren’t as enraptured by it as their parents were and will – hopefully – change the way America grows old. You already see changes in the way the babyboomers raised their children compared to their more conservative parents.

great topic. It’s funny because when I was in jr. high I thought I was the smartest person who ever lived. The older I get the more I realize I don’t know and the smarter my dad seems to get.
I think my dad’s generation will be retiring later, working more, etc. Life’s cyclical nature is interesting. Growing up you’re dependent on other people, as an adult you have intelligence, physical strength, physical looks, and a lot of stuff going for you. As you get older the strength, vitality, and beauty fade. You often become dependent on others just like when you were a kid.
I think age is like a magnifying glass. If you have a bad childhood, those problems will magnify in teens, 20’s etc. with crime, violence or other problems. If you’ve lived your whole life without the love of Jesus, there’s a lot to be bitter about when you’re old. If you spent your whole life living for the god of self and now you’re slowly dying, it’s tragic.

Jesus didn’t live past 33 or so, but I think Moses is a good example for aging. Deuteronomy is all about him teaching the next generation the things the Lord told him on the mountain. Even though Moses couldn’t enter the promised land, he still led his people in teaching, judging, leading, battle, etc.
That’s the mission for seniors: to lead, to teach and prepare the next generation for their destinies.

as many others have said, i am so glad that i found this discussion. while i know and have known many old people that are some of the kindest, most open hearted people i have ever met, i also know my parents, who are old. my parents who are in their sixties, regularly pronounce that america and the crc are not what they were and the gov’t is going to steal “their money”, for which i, my siblings, feminists, liberals, ‘socialists’ ( i.e. me and my siblings), muslims, single mothers, and all other people who were born after wwii are responsible. i work so hard to respect and honor my mother and father, but it is so hard because they treat me like i am thirteen and have no right to have different opinions than they do. sorry for the whine, but i am so frustrated.

i take umbridge with JasonBuursma saying that

If you’ve lived your whole life without the love of Jesus, there’s a lot to be bitter about when you’re old. If you spent your whole life living for the god of self and now you’re slowly dying, it’s tragic.

as if living life with the love of jesus necessarily entails happiness and growing old graciously. maybe i am being harsh, but that is the way it sounds. my parents have always been xns or at least called themselves such and their life has hardly been rosy and they are bitter. there is still alot to be bitter about even if you do live a life with the love of jesus, doesn’t make it right, but still. . .

i guess i am looking for some advice. something abit more proactive than praying for x’s patience and love :D, b/c i am staying with my parents, it is affecting me and i am feeling an onslaught of existential despair.

In considering the elderly, may we consider this if we find ourselves lacking compassion…"So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more siginificant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross." Philippians 2:1-8
Meditate on this, and ask God to help you see His undeserved mercy that He has for you; ask God to change your heart in order to view all His creation, especially the elderly, with the same kind of love…